Friday, November 26, 2010

Physics re-invented

Dear Einstein and Newton,

Thou shalt be proud of me today, as I am leveraging your learning curve, redefining your laws to the current realities and human miseries.

Law of gravity (now WTF):
- > Law of universal WTF states that every massive WTF in the universe attracts every other massive WTF with a force which is directly proportional to the product of their Screw- ups and inversely proportional to the extent of the damage caused.

Laws of Motion (again WTF):
- > Every mind remains in a state of rest or uniform WTF (constant WTF) unless it is acted upon by an external unbalanced WTF.

- > Every WTF has an equal, but opposite WTF

Law of energy conservation (now WTF conservation)
- > The law of conservation of WTF is an empirical law of Human existence. It states that the total amount of WTF in an isolated system remains constant over time . A consequence of this law is that WTF can neither be created nor destroyed: it can only be transformed from one state to another. The only thing that can happen to WTF in a closed system is that it can change form, for instance low frequency WTF can become high frequency WTF.

Trust me, what's written here is the self explanatory truth of existence in scientific language.


Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Business principles re-defined

Serious piece of advice in a not so serious mode.

- Opportunity doesn't knock Twice. Everyone agrees and so do I. Why not knock doors of opportunity :)knock them more than twice.

- Samay se pehle aur receivable se zyaada, kisi ko kuch nahi milta

- Customer is king. We all agree. But then, we are not slaves either :) Get what you want, provided it is reasonable.

- You are not married to the company you are working with or the profession you are in. Hence, you can have more than one ( I'm not specifying what the company you are working with is )

- Risk to spiderman bhi leta hai.. mai to sirf businessman hu.

- If nothing goes right, you turn left :)