Thursday, July 29, 2010

Managing(er) encounters !!

When do you recollect have you waited desperately to meet your manager?

Well, this does not apply if your manager is young. of the opposite gender, is very "gendery" and can think a bit sane. Just mentioning to keep imagination and wild thoughts under control.

Is it when:
- > You want to know what work you will be doing?
  • You hear it in glorified terms. e.g cost cutting can be called productivity challenge.

- > You want to update him on some "rocket" science" you've done.
  • It finally ends up to be re-inventing the wheel. You say "Whatever I do , I can't convince you, but at least hear me out"

- > You want to complain that this is not what was promised to me?
  • You get to hear things like "build credibility" (ok, by when and how)
- You want to enquire about the hike which you will (not) be getting)?
  • think long term ( how long? I Don't want to retire here. I'm already retarded)
  • when it rains it pours ( no one is even spitting from the terrace forget about rain)
  • you will get visibility of the management ( visibly being fooled day in and day out)
- You got your hike, but you are (but naturally) not satisfied?
  • You may get some x% here and x+30- 40% outside. En-cash it if at all you think so at the right time. Do you think I cannot go? But in long term it all evens out ( What is long term now? My batch-mates switch jobs and earn more than double of what I do. Cut the crap)
- You want to change your role as the job which you were doing was "high profile" but now seems like utter crap to you?
  • You have been in this role for just a year and a half. I have invested so much time in you and now you are hands-on. The team needs you. Spend some more time ( Did you not realise that during my performance review? and when you gave me some peanuts? )
- You want to resign. Yeaahhhhh finallyyyy
  • Your manager will be unwell. Will work from another office, go on leave and what not. Finally when you are ready to shoot at sight?? All the gyaan above Ctrl + Alt + Del. ( But you care a damn about it now. It seems like - All bakwaas, no seedhi baat. For once, you are not frustrated with the gyaan you get from your manager. You come out of the room with a long lost smile on your face)
I can quote tens of thousands of instances. But, this in a nutshell is what managers are all about ( I have gone nuts).

Most of you would agree with me. If you don't please change your opinion and stop fooling yourself :)



  1. completely agree... :).. ya bahut aur saare instances hai.. :P

  2. Abhi tak manager nahi hai!!!!!
    jab hoga tab sare instances ko checklist main dal dunga!

  3. .... to add little more on it..

    whn finally D day cms - the appraisal.. aftr openg the mail with big smile to see wht math ur magr must hav done...u wud go blank...(background music mein song ayega ... "mera jivan kora kagaj kora hi rah gaya") and aftr getting a pinch frm ur near by colleague u cm back to real world .. and realize tht the diff in ur currt and future is 0 ... at the encounter u feel lyk bringing eone to mute bcoz u r being asked to be motivate and focused... and will be infrmd tht 'nt to worry...' ur effort will pay back... believe me ..waiting for tht 'pay back' day ur eye balls will reach till the height of ur nose & tounge will reach till collar bone... take care ppl...

  4. manager = all bakwaas, no seedhi baat

  5. MAN-AGE-RS : These people make a young MAN look old as his AGE passes on doing the same job! That's why they are called MAN-AGE-RS